So there we are, packing up the TPT office, post-Christmas party, haggling away over how much it would cost for security to not “youtube” the CCTV footage, and up steps Vince Cable, hell-bent on scuppering our vacation plans.
(It actually turns out we’ve been massively over-thinking this political subversion lark – all we really need do, apparently, is ask a politician a fairly inane set of questions, and then record the subsequent self-immolation on our Nokia Gooseberries).
Anyways, in the fall-out from his Grand Fenwickian declaration of war, Vincey-baby has found himself removed from any future involvement in the “Murdoch Case”, replaced, ably we’re sure, by Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt (whose parents, incidentally, were both extremely prescient and big fans/scholars of cockney-rhyming slang!).
This move, in fairness, was somewhat necessary after News Corp expressed “shock and dismay”, and suggested that Cable’s remarks had raised “serious questions about fairness and due process”, and, to be honest, was completely understandable in the circumstances.
BUT, before we all start high-fiving each other over this apparent triumph of the British sense of fair play, let’s just take a minute to look at the new, improved “fairness” v 2.0.
Because here’s Jeremy Hunt, back in 2008 in an interview with Broadcast Magazine, stating that
“ we should recognise that [Uncle Rupe] has probably done more to create variety and choice in Britain than any other single person...We would be poorer and wouldn’t be saying that British TV is the envy of the world if it wasn’t for him..”
Now, setting aside, for a second, the fact that this statement’s wrong on about eleventy-billion different levels (excepting, of course, the televisual tour de force that was ‘Britain’s Hardest Squirrels’), you do have to question whether such an apparently sycophantic fuck-muppet’s the right person to provide that aforementioned “fairness”, right!?
Well, as it happens, “Fairness” in the TPT, actually means ‘Fair, but in a very specific direction, and as long as it results in 285 channels showing endless repeats of 'Kirsty’s Home Videos', 'Dream Team', and news programmes starring Richard-Fucking-Littlejohn as the poor man’s Glenn Beck”!