This Shit Writes Itself!

Sometimes, we come across stuff that requires such a minimal amount of work on our part, stuff so obviously, blatantly daft, that we put them in a ‘this shit writes itself’ file.

The following ‘story’ is most certainly an example of one of these, and, handily, also serves as a bit of a ‘fuck you!’ to all our detractors and haters, many of whom doubt the very existence of The Political Thesaurus.

So here, for your reading pleasure is “Chaos Theory”, coalition style.

Currently, as part of the new ‘big society’ meme presently propping up the east-wing of Coalition HQ, Cameron and Clegg have been dead keen to push their vision of ‘localism’, arguing that it's a brilliant and original way to combat the evils of central planning. It’s not necessarily a bad idea in itself (although, when we run it through TPT, it does offer ‘every fucker for themselves, except stunningly Tory areas, obviously’), but understandably, some are uneasy about the consequences of such a drastic step.

Indeed, some predict ‘chaos’, and then, understanding chaos, like most of us would, as ‘a state of utter confusion’, legitimately question such a strategy.

Enter Nicholas Boles, Tory MP for Grantham and Stamford, a man so beloved amongst governmenty types because he’s an “outrider” (TPT = ‘someone who talks and thinks in bollocks’), to clear up any confusion and lingering doubts.

When pressed about whether such an approach would cause chaos, he responded thusly:

"I mean, bluntly, there comes a question in life. Do you believe planning works? That clever people sitting in a room can plan how people's communities should develop, or do you believe it can't work? I believe it can't work, David Cameron believes it can't, Nick Clegg believes it can't........”

*Drum roll.............*

“Chaotic therefore in our vocabulary is a good thing”.

Confused? Well, he goes further:

"Chaotic is what our cities are when we see how people live, where restaurants spring up, where they close, where people move to. Would you like to live in a world where you could predict any of that? I certainly wouldn't. So I want there to be chaotic in the sense I want lots of organisations doing different things, in different areas."

There you go, folks, conclusive proof that The Political Thesaurus exists. And that it’s being used. Because, even though every single one of us here would pick up a dictionary or thesaurus and get the distinct impression that ‘chaos’ implies, at best, a state of affairs that would prove a wee bit troubling, Nicholas Boles reckons it’s ‘a good thing’, having as it does, something to do with millions of restaurants opening, or some such shit......!!